Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
