no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
