so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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