her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
