Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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