yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
