Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
