I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
