Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
