Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
