I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
In America we eat man semen.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
