Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
birth control should be required to get into college
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
