some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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