you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
