At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
