I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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