Me. At least after what I've been through.
i will never coherently bang her
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
