im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
