I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
