shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize