Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
