It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
thus making me awesome and them whores
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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