this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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