just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
