I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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