I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize