you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
