see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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