my vag is so smooth its legendary
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
