Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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