Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
