I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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