he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
