Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize