Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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