So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
