Im at strip club and am horny
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
