Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
