This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
