I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
