cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
