Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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