Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
is it fun? or sober?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
