Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
