It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize