I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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