I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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