You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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