all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
