You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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