i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
