im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
