watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
