The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
