oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize