just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
