I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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