As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
