Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize