I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
