if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The feeling are messing with the penis
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
