We won't sleep together?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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