wrigley field is MILF paradise
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
