so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
