well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
