Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
