You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
