addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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