i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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